Why Men Should NEVER Move Into A Womans’ House
A couple years back, I was at my goddaughters bday party being thrown by her parents (both of whom I’m good friends with) at their grandparents house. Like most West Indian family gatherings, the older women were chatting around the kitchen, the older men were standing in the driveway drinking beers and cussing politicians they would like to “drape up”, while the young people played dominos, looked after their troublesome, bigheaded children and argued about EVERYTHING under the sun. At this particular event, the argument of the day was how “WHUTLESS” a man would look for moving into his woman’s house, and how it’s the most UNACCEPTABLE sh*t a man can do.
Now my first instinct was to debate this point with my boys. I told them that every situation is uniquely different and that most women in that scenario would be so happy that her and her man were taking that next big step, she would LOVE the opportunity to turn HER place into THEIR own. The debate was essentially a stalemate – until the older women came downstairs. I smiled, knowing these women were about to help me jump TWO-FEET into the ASS of everyone who was fighting my point down – but that DIDN’T happen. One woman said “Wha kinda BIG MAN wanna hitch his big nasty self under some woman? I COULD NEVER let my daughter stay with a man like that. NEVER!”
Oh, it’s ALL GOOD at the start…
And the worst part about it, was that the other women joined her in not only stating that men who move in with women are frowsy, but that they would NEVER allow their sons to put themselves in the disadvantageous situation of moving into a woman’s home. As far as they are concerned, most women would ALWAYS see it as HER place, as opposed to THEIR place, which would leave his position in the home constantly in a state of peril. I had to back down from this debate, not just because I was alone, but because I was effectively arguing a point that only a WOMAN could argue – and not ONE of the women there agreed with my point of view.
So after taking that L, I decided to start asking my female friends on their thoughts of moving IN with a man, and they all essentially stated the same thing: They would prefer to move out TOGETHER and get their own home. At the same time I was working in financial planning where I sat on MANY couches and had access to a lot of couples money situations, helping me notice one very common, yet disturbing trait:When men make more money than their women, the accumulated household income is considered THEIR money. Yet When women tend to earn more money than their men, the accumulated household income was generally considered HER money. And this perspective was reflective and analogous of how they viewed the homes they lived in [regardless of who made more] because when a couple moved into a new place or the man’s place, it was considered THEIR home. But in the situation where the man moved into the woman’s place, she still had a knack for calling it HER place – and that slightly permeated through her overall outlook on him, their relationship and his BOUNDARIES.
“I told you about them long distance calls bruh. Just pack your sh*t, before I push ya entire back…”
And at that point I had enough empirical evidence to determine that MOST MEN who move INTO their woman’s apartment/condo/townhouse/mansion, etc. will have to deal with MORE territorial boundaries than if the situation was reversed – and what man wants to deal with that BS? I would rather move out into our OWN place where there is at least the PERCEPTION of equal ownership, so if I come home late one night, I can get cussed and banished to the couch, instead of getting cussed and being thrown out of HER house [that we pay an equal share for].
Now, like I said before, there are OBVIOUSLY certain cases where this CAN work because of the woman’s intrinsic outlook on sharing “her’ possessions with her man and combining them into “their” things. But to the dudes out there, if you are INTENT on moving into HER place, just be careful – and keep your momma’s spare keys JUST IN CASE.
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