The pros and cons of long distance love

The pros and cons of long distance love

That dreaded moment has come: your partner’s been offered a job hundreds of miles away. Or perhaps it’s the other way round and you’ve decided to move away. Whatever the circumstances, keeping a relationship going over a long distance isn’t easy. Here are some pros and cons to help you decide whether to put in the effort.

Pros

- With distance between you, there’s no room to take each other for granted. Time spent together is precious, so you both make an effort with your appearance and organise ‘real’ things to do rather than just loll on the sofa in your PJs.

- When your significant other lives in another city, or even country, you have a great opportunity to travel and explore somewhere new. What’s more, you’ll have the inside scoop on all the best bars and restaurants, not to mention free accommodation.

- A long distance relationship can actually be stronger because you’re forced to communicate. In the gaps between visits you can’t sit silently together watching the Great British Bake Off. Instead you have to Skype, chat on the phone, text and email. In other words, you must express yourself and listen. This should help you understand each other better.

- You’re guaranteed time and space to yourself in any long distance relationship. This means there’s no need for other aspects of your life to fall by the wayside. Career goals, friendships, hobbies – you should be able to keep them all on track.

- A long distance relationship is one way to discover if he or she is a keeper. Ordinary romances can limp on, even after they’ve gone stale, simply because they’re easy and convenient. If your partner is far away you don’t have that luxury. The relationship will only last if you both really want it to.

Cons

- Living at a distance is emotionally draining – chiefly because it requires an exceptional level of trust. When someone is miles away, it’s easy to have a creeping sense of dread as you wonder what your partner is doing – and who with. This jealousy is compounded by the fact misunderstandings are more likely when you’re communicating via email and text.

- There’s one obvious downside to a long distance relationship. Not an empty bed, but loneliness. If the relationship is worth anything at all, you really enjoy being in their company. Correspondingly, when that person isn’t around, you’re going to notice.

- Having said that, an empty bed can get depressing when it’s empty for too long. Although you can email or speak to your partner, nothing is a substitute for being cuddled up in bed with the one you love.

- Maintaining a long distance relationship is just as draining on your wallet as your emotions. All those phone calls – plus bus, train or air fares – are going to add up. If you’re determined to keep the romance going, you’ll have to learn to manage your finances.

- There is some doubt as to whether a long distance liaison constitutes a relationship at all. The fact is people who see each other regularly go through a lot more together. This may involve becoming bored of each other, running out of things to say, bickering and fighting – but hey, that stuff’s the bread and butter.